De-code

Dear Elton merwyn vaz readers,
         Im sure everyone of you were baffled by my poem "broken code". So in response to your requests and my self awareness of the topic and my way of expression, here comes "De-code" as i had promised to settle the unsettling thought of those lines....

"Carried away on a fumbled direction.

To a land of foreign tone.

A word of mouth, a rib to bear a weight

Cause and action raised to question."

My friend lavanya chakravarty was driving through the city on judges bungalows road going towards SAL hospital. He usually take that route only but the lines suggest that you never know when you will meet your next mind rattling experience, even though there is the familiarity with the route. So he was going and he is brought to a screeching halt by a man who was apparently carelessly walking across the road talking on the phone - viz "foreign tone" for lavanya...and instantly that person becomes a part of Mr lavanya's life experiences. Here "fumbled direction" means "accidental". So the first 2 lines say how lavanya is instantly connected to this person in his mental well of experience, accidentally. Then the next two lines suggest a verbal altercation as it usually happens in the Indian scenario and then this person is accompanied suddenly by a mob of people who start beating lavanya even when clearly it was the phone guys mistake. this is thought is "cause and action raised to question" and in the process of blows and blockages lavanya receives a hard blow in the ribs and that is "a rib to bear a weight"......

"In corrupted brew of bloody wax

A plague raged indiscreet, unabashed.

A pierced jargon offends that thought.

Brings frust’ a congregation."

This whole verse is the expression of the thought processes that might have been going on in lavanya's head at that time. "corrupted brew of bloody wax", the mixed emotions of being innocent, helpless and clueless of what is going on.. "A plague raged indiscreet, unabashed." - representing both lavanya's emotions and the visual of the crowd...."A pierced jargon offends that thought.Brings frust’ a congregation." - lavanya's reaction in self defence and frustration, a set of blows from his end to break free from the mob to safety...his car still being thrashed but then finally being left alone after some time...lavanya still thinking what just happened, he had just saved the man and yet he was being accused and violated....

"In search of bored integrity.

In torn beyond relief.

Two brothers lost in a city life.

A man found casualty."

the first two lines represents lavanyas state of mind and the mobs too...."bored integrity" represents failure to build back a broken state of mental integrity... now this revelation comes after lavanya's brother goes back to the scene to investigate the set of events and learns that the man on the phone had just lost 2 of his brothers, approx 27-28 yrs of age, in road accidents....one 2 days before on the highway; instant death and one had just succumbed to internal injuries a few hours before at SAL hospital. Hence we can get expression of the mans state of mind in "bored integrity" and "torn beyond relief"..(read lines again to get the meaning) .....

"And then that question rose in cause and action.

No side repaired the road

No matter how right you fell,

understanding another is still a broken code"

then the reasons and the connotations come to sense if you piece it together...the mob was the mans relatives and village neighbors who were obviously all enraged when this happened. 2 brothers were lost to road accidents and here was one that was about to happen..all the frustration and despair came out on lavanya who was clueless of what was happening and why was he being blamed..because he didnt know this background story running in the minds of those people..when you think about it, its neither ones fault but it was the eventuality and the situation the brew the happening....hence the tag  "No matter how right you fell understanding another is still a broken code" ........(read the lines once again and now it will be clear) 

the explanation is in brief but if you now read the poem and think about the situation and the volume of emotional breakdown in that person then you can realize the reaction in this case and about how in our lives we simply never think about what another person might be going through, all we see is the reaction and we react back...is that actually right in all cases..?? ....think about it...

thank you for reading...please post your comments below....

A Dope theory

Dear Elton Merwyn Vaz readers (if there are any),
              After a parched season of my writing, here comes some "new age thinking" writing....the timbre is not meaningless strings of rhymed lyric but a narration of a pattern of existential life and hence i sincerely request readers not to be completely influenced by the material because most of it is sensitive to very firmly established guides/principles in our lives, if you ponder over its deep connotations...The intent of this material is to illuminate knowledge and not to direct behavior....i urge my readers to take it in this light...thank you for reading...do leave ur comments 

A long duration rests its course,

As a sight brought back that which was thought to be lost for seconds

Who told you to believe what Einstein Says?

When you’ve got time-bends right in your mind to beckon.

For there is no purpose in this chaos,

Only that which you can organize

And No matter how high you think you’ve got in that,

You’re not even a bit on a bit of pie.

Some, who think they’ve got all the knowledge or even some,

Id like to make my pee on their brain descent,

For that’s all the water you're ever going to see,

 In the earth’s 70%.

Come to be enlightened by this source of meaning,

Find truth in, to you told, structured lies,

If you think for a moment about yourself

You know you’re just living a set of biological needs inside (like intel inside..haha)

Covered up in intellectual sight and made up rules.

And dumplings of memories to guide your next step.

It’s so unconscious, what you do,

Come to think about it, it’s not even you…haha

Cause, think about this : who gives you the concept of you?

It’s a brain, A biological form consisting of tissue and neurons

and basically cells of different type made of protons, neutrons and electrons.
You’re concept of you is jus living on a learning software (set of rules/needs),

That runs on this your brains hardware.

So in the end we all are just collective energy itself,

If we dissect ourselves up to the atom.

And a body is just matter (a neutron) holding you back,

To what you think is yourself.

So death be a measure to be reunited to the source.

To Become free energy, a millionth time stronger

Suffice to say you’ve just been fucked up being a human,

 with no purpose or scope to decide, or power to know it all

 and even if you go and die, you’ve just become

(according to the law of conservation of energy) - life’s resource….hahaha…..

A Match-up

I was in college today and I witnessed  a soccer match being played between the st. Xavier’s college team and another.…it reminded me of the times I used to be in the college team. The poem is the struggle between the want to relive that time and the need to move on.. because of the incapability to go back or remain….

A Match-up

I was in a story one time ago,

Of happy 12 and a ball to steal,

In crazy crowd, brought density

A real matter-o-fact, not evolved fantasy.

But present time becomes tomorrow’s memory,

Now is not a held commodity

In never ending motive and stride

You’ll fall if you live in your old slime.

Every story doth written on something else

Be it paper, a board or space imaginary

I am black and this is my white

Together, on each other we survive.

And today I am a background to a line of another,

An atom in embodiment of effect,

Un-consulted now remains that streak

That which was the source of energy is bent oblique,

With that view I see the studded club shooting,

In their moment I seize my pulse,

For they are now the energy, the source.

I am now in the crazy crowd.

And id want to go back to that post,

To be back to teamed constituency,

Swept away in shouting sounds.

Live another constant legacy.

But there aint no fruit that does’nt kiss the ground.

Who’evr stayed unmoved will be eaten dry,

Only a star could bear to stay uptight,

But its still got to burn and shed its light.

So in smaller vision I walk away,

Even smaller be my stride.

But eventually I will paw my way,

I will find that lions pride.

Broken Code

Carried away on a fumbled direction.

To a land of foreign tone.

A word of mouth, a rib to bear a weight

Cause and action raised to question.

In corrupted brew of bloody wax

A plague raged indiscreet, unabashed.

A pierced jargon offends that thought.

Brings frust’ a congregation.

In search of bored integrity.

In torn beyond relief.

Two brothers lost in a city life.

A man found casualty.

And then that question rose in cause and action.

No side repaired the road

No matter how right you fell,

understanding another is still a broken code.




The poem is about an incident that happened with one of my friends and is a portrayal of human behavior and understanding as perceived by me in context of the narration given by him....

perennial persistance

The morn be cloudy from that sigh

A flash of images on a reel of film

Flickering eyes see from a bed unclean.

Pulled back in time with untimely sleep.

But when these thoughts orbit elliptically in my mind.

There is a voice that thrusts me to calm

Like a dual persona fighting with each other.

Caught in a dilemma, bereft and benign.

If troubled winds blew in a swirl with dust.

I’d make rain to fill the dearth of attempt

For it is the calm that owns power and not the storm.

That brings light forth to that early dawn.

Commands a charge in life of spring

To grow on soil of weakened dreams.

Cause the earth don’t scorn the sun

When it burns her skin..dry and torn.

It don’t complain in darkened skies..

 It waits the seasons in time.

It lives on for others lives.. 

reverberation

Why are relationships difficult? (And by that I mean friends and relatives included along with the rather easily grasped meaning of the term “relationships”) It’s a question almost every other person has made to the air of the night or maybe for some lucky people, who have had the fortune to have a true friend, have “extractingly” made it to them. But in any case one has only got a hypothetical answer or maybe a grandmas philosophy, oh and then there are those experiences of others that inspire only those who tell you about it. But no matter how much experienced one is in this matter, it’s always going to be a partial explanation or a general agreement to the issue because no matter how hard you try to relate to the other persons problems they will always be intrinsic to that persons psyche and no one can ever completely understand or say "put themselves in someone else’s shoes". It’s an impossibility that is made so that we have differences and are unique people, but no matter how kingly it seems, it also has a down side because it puts us alone in this world. Now this exactly is the reason of the first question asked, "why are relationships difficult?” forget being in one. It’s hard to even start one that really is something meaningful. Most starters are just attractions and sexual urges that eventually burn out. But one must not condemn these, after all it’s not wrong to be attracted to a person, what matters here is “to control this and see if there is really a possibility of something.” “To wait for each other to get to a level of understanding that will bind you'll together.”  “It’s not important to say that you love someone. It’s more important to really love”. Well, that’s again philosophy right?  So what is it actually? I think that the problem arises because there is a constant desire to have the best, and more. We are all in the search for the love from that person whom we want to. No one gives a damn to those who love you, so everyone is like a shoal of fish; unidirectional, following the current blindly. No one wants to settle for second best. No one wants to even look behind. Everyone is busy complaining about someone or some people who don’t care about them while ignoring those who really care. Isn’t that such "hypocricism". On one hand you complain that people don’t care and on the other you don’t care about those people that do….pause here…think about it. So there you go again, “unidirectional shoal of fish”. It looks like the generation is moving forward smoothly but they actually have no idea where they are going and even if they try and break free from the rest they would only be alone again, hence no one does and hence the commonly lingering anxiety. What is required is an urge to break free from the shoal and everyone has to do this. Only then will this be possible. Love the people that love you and you will be happy. Start with your parents and you will see the difference. It will be hard at first but everything that’s done through hardships has a sweet result. Care for those that care and expect no returns from anyone. Every person has their load of burdens to take care of. No one could be available to you all the time. The one that is laughing the hardest is probably the one that’s most troubled and is only trying to find hope in seeing someone else smile cause of em. Not everyone is having a jolly good time in the world. So when they do things for you, think that you actually owe them one or maybe much more, cause you don’t know what they are possibly going through but are still trying to be there for you. Above all give em time and don’t cut off easy and the most important one, don’t assume or judge anyone but rather try and understand and give em a second chance....

p.s. - please dont think that this is written for you to be instructed by me, it’s rather an expression of my understanding to myself so that I grow in what I believe in...cause such beliefs always require rewinding and rescreening. Buh its posted here so that if at all there is something that you might be able to learn and apply to your life, or maybe this helps you to understand what’s been eluding you so long then I’d have another fish to share the ocean with...

Thanks for reading...

"A single fish is always difficult to catch"

Think about it....

endless possibilities....

well as i begin here with this title in mind i am caught in my own web of thought. Because there are seemingly an endless possibility of what I'm about to say and how should i say it. so i follow whatever comes to my mind, a kind off free thought flow. This post is about expression and its diversity, why are we different from each other? its because of difference in expression and perception. once a balance is sought and obtained then we will progress transcending all boundaries but in the process we become robots, robots to a system, something inhumane and not desired by anyone. There will be no feelings, no sense of worth and no relationships. no love. and these are human qualities which we will loose. Its not some superficial talk that I'm writing here, its what is happening. Competition to survive and emphasis on worldly positions and statuses have made man so insecure and cautious that they do not care about any other person. Their own objectives are most important. and its a vicious cycle. Someone who cares is not cared back and they labor on for them but there comes a limit. And when that limit is crossed that initially caring person turns to become the suspicious and uncaring person. After all not all people can take the pain and suffering on behalf of another. We are not Jesus Christ. But we are shown the way. Be caring to those that care for you and those that don't, don't rebuke them but try and stick on to convert them. If you do so then your work on earth is in progress and that's how we develop unity in diversity. Don't let masses fool you, think for yourself. Don't bind yourself in cultural and religious values but rather see the values of humanity and love. If everyone does this then only can we achieve a unified goal. After all, the great saints, sages and gods never told you to practice rituals, but they rather showed you the way of living in harmony to attain that ultimate goal of spiritual closeness. Don't thrive to be scientific, be logical.

The choices are given to you and your fellow men. Don't change yours just because someone else is not following it. But keep yourself open to change because not everyone is born with the same ideology. Everyone is given a bit of the truth, discuss with others and piece together the puzzle of human existence and purpose.